Late for Christmas Presents? Sit Down.
And for the love of God, step away from the socks.
It’s December 20th and you still haven’t bought presents. I see you. You’re spiralling. You’re Googling “same-day delivery.” You’re about to walk into a store and buy socks because socks are “practical” and “everyone needs them.”
Stop.
I’m going to save you from yourself.
Call me old-fashioned, but I think a book is always a good gift. It says “I thought about you” without the commitment of something they have to display on their mantle forever. It’s personal without being weird. And unlike scented candles or that gadget from TikTok, a good book actually gets used.
Lucky for you, I’ve spent years reading everything from Victorian gothic doorstoppers to contemporary romance to existential Russian literature (I’m fun at parties, I swear), and I’m here to match the right book to the people in your life you will absolutely shop for earlier next year.
Whether you’re shopping for your chronically anxious friend, your pretentious cousin, or that person who claims they “don’t have time to read” (yet somehow watched all of The Crown in three days), I’ve got you.
Let’s do this.
1. The Overthinker
A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again by David Foster Wallace
Your friend who turns a simple “should we get pizza?” into a 20-minute philosophical debate about late-stage capitalism and gluten. They need DFW’s essay collection like they need oxygen—it’s neurotic brilliance in book form, someone (finally!) putting into words why a Caribbean cruise is actually an existential nightmare. They’ll read one essay and text you at 2am with thoughts. You’re welcome.
2. The Hopeless Romantic
Book Lovers by Emily Henry
For the person who still believes in love despite all evidence to the contrary (their dating history, the news, reality TV). This one’s got banter, an enemies-to-lovers dynamic, and a meta-awareness about romance tropes that makes it feel smart while still delivering all the butterflies. It’s like if someone made a romantic comedy but remembered that women have personalities and career ambitions. Revolutionary, I know.
3. The Page-Turner Addict
One of Us Is Lying by Karen M. McManus
The person who claims they “don’t really read” but binged Succession in four days. Hand them this. It’s The Breakfast Club meets murder mystery, and they’ll be so hooked they’ll forget to check their phone for three hours straight—which is basically a miracle in 2025. By page 50 they’ll be texting you theories. By page 200 they’ll have converted.
4. The Cerebral Type
The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton
Your friend who does the New York Times crossword in pen and gets genuinely offended by plot holes in Marvel movies. This is Agatha Christie meets Groundhog Day meets a Rubik’s cube made of murder. It’s the kind of book that makes you feel smart just for keeping track of what’s happening. They’ll be insufferably smug about figuring out the twist (they won’t figure it out).
5. The Pessimist/Realist
Stoner by John Williams
For the friend who responds to “how are you?” with “well, we’re all going to die eventually.” This is the story of a man who lives a quiet, unremarkable life and somehow it’s devastating and beautiful and weirdly life-affirming? It’s like the book version of sitting in a minor-key jazz club at 3am—melancholic but profound. They’ll love it because it confirms all their suspicions about existence while also making them feel deeply seen.
6. The Literary Snob
The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
You know the one. They pronounce “croissant” with a French accent and have Opinions about book-to-film adaptations. Give them 600 pages of Victorian gothic mystery so they can casually drop “Oh, I’ve been rereading Wilkie Collins” at holiday parties. Here’s the secret: it’s actually an incredibly well-written page-turner, which they won’t admit makes them feel slightly less intellectual. Multiple narrators, well-developed characters, and one of the best villains in history all come together in a machiavellian inheritance plot—it’s Succession but with corsets.
7. The Person Stuck in a Rut
Yes Man by Danny Wallace
For whoever’s been saying “I should really...” for the past six months without actually doing anything. Most people don’t know the Jim Carrey movie came from this hilarious memoir about a guy who decided to say “yes” to everything for a year. It’s funny, it’s motivating without being preachy, and it might actually inspire them to finally sign up for that pottery class or whatever. Beware: they may become slightly more spontaneous. You’ve been warned.
8. The Cynic with Secret Feelings
Barney’s Version by Mordecai Richler
The friend who makes fun of rom-coms but cried during Up. They act tough, they’ve got walls, they claim not to “do feelings.” Then you give them Barney Panofsky—a curmudgeonly, hilarious, deeply flawed narrator telling his life story—and suddenly they’re emotionally compromised. It’s extremely funny until it absolutely wrecks you, which is exactly what your cynic friend needs but would never admit to wanting.
9. The Wanderlust Romantic
Rome When It Rains by yours truly (coming Summer 2026!)
Okay, this one isn't a gift you can wrap and put under the tree—unless you're into giving people IOUs, which honestly feels like a cop-out. But if YOU loved this gift guide and want some witty, spicy, character-driven romance that takes place in Europe and ends in ways that surprise you, join the pre-order list here. You'll get early access before anyone else, plus exclusive bonus content when it launches. Think of it as a gift to Future You, who will be very grateful when summer 2026 rolls around and everyone's talking about it—as they most definitely will be.
There you have it: nine books, zero socks, and a significantly higher chance that your recipient will actually like what you got them.
And look—if all else fails and you’re still standing in a bookshop on Christmas Eve in a cold sweat, just remember: even a mediocre book is better than whatever panic-buy is currently calling to you from the gift section on Amazon. You’re giving someone permission to ignore their phone for a few hours. In 2025, that’s basically a spa day.
Now go forth and gift responsibly. Your recipients will thank you. Or at least they won’t regift it like they did with last year’s scented candle.
Happy holidays, and happy reading—to them, and to you if you’re smart enough to buy yourself something too.